Troubled Lives
by maria jeanne
Summary: AU. It has been completely different since the end of the war. Kira and Lacus were finally engaged, they were preparing for their future together. Will they live happily ever after? Will fate be in favor of them? Read to find out.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed. TT

Hi! Although I've been visiting this site for quite a long time already, this is my first time to post my fanfic here. The fact is this story has been stored in my computer for months already and it's just now that I want to share this to anyone who might be interested in reading my fic.

Summary: It has been completely different since the end of the war. Kira and Lacus were finally engaged, they were preparing for their future together. Will they live happily ever after? Will fate be in favor of them? Read to find out.

_Please read and review._

Troubled Lives

Prologue

(Kira's POV)

Now I'm here inside my room and, I'm pretty bored. Lacus told me that if I don't feel right, I must let it out or else I'll blow. She suggested that if I can't speak it out, I have to write my feelings down and then afterwards read it, letting myself be the author and at the same time the reader. This is because I can reflect easier and it can help lighten the burden. I want to check it out so I followed her advice and now I am writing the first entry in my journal.

_A.W_. Decmeber 14, 8:45 PM

_Life has never been this good for me and for everyone. The war has finally ended. Peace has finally come to us, I desire this will last long. If ever another chaos will ignite once more, I'll fight until my last breath like what I've done before. Although I really hate it, I'll battle anarchy to protect the ones I love and those people who thought of it as despicable. I will never allow that event of destruction to occur again, never will anything take this bliss that I only experience now with her, with Lacus Clyne._

_Lacus, you were my angel who saved me from insanity. Whenever I look into your eyes, I feel serenity. Whenever I hear your voice, I sense harmony. Whenever you smile back at me, I see the truth. I will no longer be afraid from now on because you were always there for me. It's just you, you are peace itself but I often wonder if I really deserve you. Many times I'd ask myself if why God is so kind to me for giving me this wonderful chance, of knowing you and letting you become a part of my life. Because I had a rough life, many times too I questioned myself if you deserve to be with someone else who has never taken the life of someone else for whatever reason unlike me. But all I know is that I love you more than my own life and that I'm glad that you love me too. You told me that you don't care about the things I did before. You always gave me an assurance that I am worth of your love, and I am thankful for that. I know I hurt you before by ignoring your feelings for me, but good thing I realized that I was stupid for dumping the chance for a better life and that you were the one who will help me move on. It's you that I will never come back to my old self, you patiently took care of me, you healed my wounds, you make me a new Kira Yamato, a stronger Kira Yamato. You banished all my fears, I am no longer afraid and I am ready to move on with my life together with you. I must tell you, you're the only reason I need to live each day of my life. I know I told you that I love you for a million times already, but you just don't know if how much I love you because I just can't explain this odd feeling. Without you, my life is incomplete because you were the one who always understands me, who always cares for me. I'll always love your kindness and sincerity. I already lost my loved ones in the past and it was hard for me. However Lacus, if you'll be taken away from me, I would desire not to live anymore because I will not be able to live a life without you in my side. Lacus, you'll always be the person I will forever respect, the only woman I'll love for eternity. Never leave me, never please. I love you, Lacus._

I guess I have to end it here. I am finally satiated at what I just wrote. I put my journal back inside the desk drawer when Lacus came in.

"Hi Kira," she smiled at me and headed to the bathroom. Yeah, every time she does that, I felt my heart twist.

I suddenly slipped my tongue out, "Lacus?"

"Hmm?" she responded.

"Errh, uhm…" '_Man, what's in me?_ ' I thought, "just later," I simply sighed.

"Okay," she finally entered the bathroom as I sat on the bed and waited for her to get done.

(Normal POV)

After a few minutes, Lacus exited the bathroom with her pajamas on. She came near to the bed and sat next to Kira, "Anata, what is it that you want to ask me a while ago?"

"Can you sing that quiet night' song for me, please? Because I don't want to have nightmares later on," Kira asked.

"You know you can be like a little child requesting to his mother for bedtime stories," Lacus giggled as Kira blushed, "Very well, wish granted," Lacus said as she began singing.

_shizuka na kono yoru ni anata wo matteru no_

_ano toki wasureta hohoemi wo tori ni kite_

_are kara sukoshi dake jikan ga sugite_

_omoide ga yasashiku natta ne_

_hoshi no furu basho de_

_anata ga waratte irukoto wo_

_itsumo negatteta_

_ima tookutemo_

_mata aeru yo ne_

Kira moved to his sleeping position while still listening to Lacus. Lacus covered him with a blanket as he replied a smile.

_itsu kara hohoemi wa konna ni hakanakute_

_hitotsu no machigaide kowarete... shimau kara_

_taisetsuna mono dake wo hikari ni kaete_

_tooi sora koete yuku tsuyosade_

_hoshi no furu basho e_

_omoi wo anata ni todoketai_

_itsumo soba ni iru_

_sono tsumetasa wo dakishimeru kara_

_ima toukutemo kitto aerune_

_shizuka na yoru ni_

At the end of the song, Kira finally slept. Lacus faced Kira nearer and listened to his calm breathing. She felt relieved to know that her beloved is now having a peaceful slumber. She then turned off the lights and lay down beside Kira, "Sweet dreams, Kira. Don't worry, I'll protect you from the nightmares. I love you anata," she kissed him lightly on the lips and dozed off.

_A.W._ December 15, 10:06 AM

"Tadaima!" Lacus greeted and planted a smack on Kira's lips as she neared the orphanage's beach house.

"Okaeri nasai, anata," Kira replied as he approached Lacus while he quickly savored Lacus' lips on his. "Let me carry the bags. What are inside these?" Kira queried while getting the two shopping bags that Lacus brought.

Lacus giggled while handing the bags to Kira, "Christmas decors. You know that Christmas is fast approaching and these will make the orphanage's atmosphere a little bit more colorful and merrier."

"Looks like you've done a lot of shopping. So when are you going to start on decorating?" Kira asked while looking over the load inside.

"Actually, the children will assist me decorating the house this morning. Care to join us?" Lacus said, inviting Kira.

Kira chuckled, "Well I can't let my angel do things without me… of course I will. I guess the children will enjoy with the activity later."

"Us too. Let's go inside and start the fun," Lacus beamed at him as she led Kira to the house.

Credits: Lacus Clyne's Shizukana yoru ni

Artist: Tanaka Rie (how I wished my voice was as wonderful as hers)

Album: Gundam Seed OST

Gundam Seed has been one of my favorite anime. For now, I've been relying on subbed versions so I can catch up with Gundam Seed Destiny.

I was listening to this song when I wrote this prologue. I got carried away and thought of writing my fic for GS. For me, I think this wasn't good enough but please tell me what you think. If there are some mistakes or if you would like to suggest anything to improve my writing, please do so and I'll be glad to accept them. Thank you very much for reading and until next update!


	2. Realizing the Vision of Hope

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed. TT

Summary: It has been completely different since the end of the war. Kira and Lacus were finally engaged, they were preparing for their future together. Will they live happily ever after? Will fate be in favor of them? Read to find out.

_Please read and review._

_

* * *

_  
Previously on Troubled Lives:

"_Looks like you've done a lot of shopping. So when are you going to start on decorating?" Kira asked while looking over the load inside._

"_Actually, the children will assist me decorating the house this morning. Care to join us?" Lacus said, inviting Kira._

_Kira chuckled, "Well I can't let my angel do things without me… of course I will. I guess the children will enjoy with the activity later."_

"_Us too. Let's go inside and start the fun," Lacus beamed at him as she led Kira to the house._

_

* * *

_  
Troubled Lives

Chapter 1: Realizing the Vision of Hope

_A.W._ December 15, 8:05 PM

(Lacus' POV)

_Natsukashiku mada tooi yakusoku nohara_

_Fields of hope_

I finished singing and led the children to their beds. I hope that my song had helped them relax after the long day of decorating the house.

After putting them to sleep, I went outside and headed to the balcony. There I saw Kira standing still facing the sight of the beach ahead of him and I slowly walked to his direction.

"Kira…" I tapped slowly my hand on his shoulder and also watched the scenery before us, "You seemed to be in deep thought."

Kira briefly replied, "I am."

"Do you want to talk about it? I mean, if you want someone to talk to, I'm here to listen," I countered him as he started to speak.

"I thought of so many things that had happened; all of those miseries that the war has afflicted on everyone. And now, I still can't get myself out of this guilt that has been haunting me each day," Kira said as he gripped tighter both of his hands on the railings of the balcony.

My heart suddenly hurt the moment he said those words. Why can't I help him? I really wanted so much for him to be happy and yet here I am can't do anything good for the one I love.

Kira continued, "The war. That was really horrible. And I am glad that we're given a chance to start all over again although a part of ourselves won't forget those who have given up their lives for us. That was the war that the whole world has gotten into. But…" Kira halted.

"But what, Kira? Please tell me what bothers you," I worriedly asked him as I faced him.

"Our personal war in our own lives, Lacus. I am happy that we're now together, but what if fate forbids it in the future? What if someone or something will take our happiness away? You know that I've never been this happier these days," Kira shifted his head to face me with both worry and fear that I can sense in his eyes and tone.

I was surprised by what he said. _Really_. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that I would be of great importance to Kira. However, opposite to this, I also felt shame since I realized I was the one who caused him to worry.

I topped his cold hands with mine as we continued to stare at each other. Silence paused us for a few seconds, and then I was taken back when I saw tears began to flow down from his eyes. "Kira, it's okay," with my right hand I reached for his face and stroke softly his cheeks, "don't worry at all, nothing's gonna separate us apart."

Kira capped my right hand over his, "Lacus, I know I have been so stupid before. I have been selfish; I only minded my own emotions. I was so enveloped with agony for failing to save those I was obliged to protect."

At the time he mentioned this, a blurry image of Fllay came into my mind. Yes, I must admit I am hurt whenever he talks of issues like these although I know that he's the one who's more in pain because of her unlikely death. I have been hiding my feelings very well but because of this I felt terribly uneasy so I took my hand away and stared at the ground and so I asked, "Kira, is it still about Fllay? I know it's…"

Out of a blue, Kira lifted my chin so I can face him, he then took both of my trembling hands to his chest. He covered his hands over mine as I felt his heart beating rapidly, "Lacus, feel my heart. It beats for you. We have been together, through the good and the bad, and it's you that I truly want. Don't you know that if it wouldn't be for you, I would have never come back?" Kira looked straight onto my eyes and beamed. And this time, I can sense that his eyes tell of truth behind those tears. I wiped his tears as he continued to speak, "Fllay's important to me but that was all in the past. You are here today and I know that you wouldn't leave me. Truly I say to you, no one's more precious to me than you."

All of a sudden, tears fall down in my face. _I just could not believe what I just heard._ I know that we've been together and that we've been engaged for months already, but this is what I've been dying to hear from him, to know that I am also of value to him. I know now that I have a special place in his heart. At this I finally resolved that I will do my everything to make him happy.

"Ki…ra, thank you…"

"No, Lacus. I was the one who must thank you since you were the one who took care of me, you were patient of me. You're always there for me and that's an enough reason for me to be happy, nothing more. I want to stay peacefully like this forever with you. I love you, Lacus,"

"I love you too, Kira."

Kira cleaned up my tears and I responded him with a smile. I hugged him as he returned it also with a warm embrace. He then pulled away as he lowered down his lips into mine. It was a gentle and chaste kiss but it showed the feelings deep inside that we feel for each other.

(Normal POV)

A.W. December 16, 3:35 PM

Kira opened his laptop to check on e-mail notifications. He received one from his bestfriend, Athrun Zala. It said:

_Kira,_

_Cagalli and I will be there tomorrow. We wanted to have a vacation even at least for Christmas. Cagalli has been burying herself in too much work load considering she's Orb representative, so we thought of taking a break for a while. Actually, we just missed everyone back there in the orphanage. _

_We'll be arriving probably in the morning around 9 o'clock. Inform Lacus and Reverend Malcho but please don't tell the children that we'll be coming, we wanted to surprise them._

_Athrun_

Kira sent a message back to Athrun of their plans for tomorrow. Just then, Lacus entered the room with a plate of cookies.

"Kira, I baked some cookies. Here you go," she handed a cookie to Kira's mouth as he ate it.

"Thanks, it tastes good," Kira replied and smiled.

"I'm glad you like it." Lacus giggled. "By the way, what do you have there in your computer?" Lacus asked.

"I received an e-mail from Athrun. He said that he and Cagalli will have a vacation here," Kira answered as he took another cookie from the plate.

"That's great! Oh how I missed those two. And also, the children will be glad to see them again."

"I know but Athrun said that we won't tell the children about it until they arrive. They wanted it a surprise."

Lacus chuckled, "It's good that they thought of going here. I'm delighted that they will be able to join our Christmas party. Come on, let's go downstairs to play with the children."

"Yeah, it will be a very nice Christmas for all of us," Kira said while putting off his laptop and followed Lacus.

* * *

_A.N. As you can see, this fic focuses on Kira and Lacus. Their relationship as a couple in the series was not as strong as emphasized in images. I was somehow disappointed by that that's why in this fic, Kira and Lacus got together the way I want it to be as a GS fan. And also I added other characters here to vary the flow of the story. _

_Sorry for the slow update. I was so busy with school I barely had time to write. But here it is and hope you like it. Comments are welcomed. Also, thank you for my first two reviewers, Attharun and Dust-in.  
_


End file.
